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22 August 2011 @ 01:56 am
pulled from mpp  
food is now what dope used to be
once i put it in, i can't stop no matter how much i want to
no matter how wrong i know it is
no matter how disgusted i am

the oldtimers talked about the end of their addiction, how getting high was no longer fun
food is no longer fun
i wanted to be a chef
i loved to create
to explore

the hole inside of me now just screams more, more, more!
quality is a thing of the past
enjoyment, a faded memory

eating out is painful
the family looks on, grossed i think
and food dribbles and the hand shoves and conversation takes a backseat
and i promise that tomorrow i'll show some restraint

i hate the thing i've become
once i was thin and a little messed up and had lots of fun
and then i needed to be fixed, i was wrong, bad, dirty
so i retreated
built a wall of flesh

and now i want to be free
to laugh
to sing
to dance

i want my f-ing life back!!!!