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22 August 2011 @ 01:58 am
i forgot about the incessant monologuing inside my head
i managed to muffle it with food and fear and denial and distraction
intentional white noise
there was no one to talk to anyways

so now i find myself thinking
thinking is dangerous
it takes you places you might not want to go
it scrapes and scrapes at all the comforting things you tell yourself
thinking leads to revelation
and once you know
you are required to do something about it
doing has never been my thing
i can think and speak
and plan and dream
map it out in the greatest detail
but doing...

once you start, you're committed
and it might be hard
you might fail altogether
worst of all you might not do it right
or you think you've done a good job and it turns out you've been delusional all along

maybe that's why i don't like periods (.)
they require deciciveness